I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
