are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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