ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
