would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
