yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
