I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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