My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
