any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
