And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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