I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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