From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
