Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
