i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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