my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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