Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
