Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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