reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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