So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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