I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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