You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
