If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize
