woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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