Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
