sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Boobs speak an international language.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
