Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
