I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
