He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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