I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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