I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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