its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
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