i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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