Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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