put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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