Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
