who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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