I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
