so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
