Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
