roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
