no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
