Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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