i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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