The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
operation harelip BJ is a go
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Your cock deserves a montage
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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