You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
