Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
