About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
50% drunk capacity currently
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
