last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
