Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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