ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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