we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
